Deadbeat Dads Beware: Paternity Leave Must Be Reserved for ‘Responsible Husbands

Paternity Leave for All? Or Only the ‘Responsible’ Dads?”

South Africa just made a historic change: fathers are now entitled to four months of paternity leave, the same as mothers! 😲 Yes, you heard that right. Gone are the days of 10 measly days, which, let’s be honest, barely gave a man time to unpack the hospital bag, let alone bond with the baby.

This ruling came from the Constitutional Court of South Africa on October 3, 2025, after finding the previous system discriminatory. The Basic Conditions of Employment Act used to give mothers four months of maternity leave and fathers… well, 10 days. Clearly, that was ridiculously unfair. Now, parents—biological, adoptive, or through surrogacy—can share four months and ten days of parental leave, promoting equality in childcare.

Sounds amazing, right? And it is! But, as with all internet news, the comment sections did not disappoint. Some people made jokes about having multiple kids just to get more leave. Others raised a serious point: This law should only applied to married men/couples.

I found myself agreeing more than I expected. Here’s why:

1. Honoring commitment matters. Married men, whether they paid Lobola, had a white wedding, or a court wedding, usually show a certain level of responsibility toward their family. If you’re married and had a baby inside the marriage, the likelihood of using paternity leave responsibly is higher.

2. Reducing exploitation. Deadbeat fathers—or men who aren’t committed—could take advantage of this law if there are no boundaries. Limiting the leave to married men might reduce this risk.

3. Family stability. Giving leave to fathers in committed relationships helps bonding and co-parenting, which benefits the child, the parents, and even society.

But there’s the flip side: what about single mothers and fathers? Women who are unmarried still need their maternity leave, and excluding unmarried men might feel unfair. Life isn’t always neat especially when it comes to making bad choices, and families come in many forms.

Here’s where I personally stand: married men should get priority for paternity leave, not because unmarried men are bad, but because commitment usually increases responsibility. And yes, maternity leave should be at least nine months—after all, that’s how long the baby grew in the mother’s womb, and recovery plus bonding takes time. Fathers getting four months is a great start, but mothers deserve longer.

At the end of the day, this law is a huge step toward fairness, but it opens a debate: fairness vs. responsibility, rights vs. exploitation. And that’s the interesting part—because sometimes, the law can’t solve everything, but it can guide how we take care of our families (most of the times).

Sources & Facts:

Ruling Date: October 3, 2025

Implemented by: Constitutional Court of South Africa

Previous Law: Basic Conditions of Employment Act – 4 months maternity, 10 days paternity

New Law: 4 months + 10 days shared parental leave for both parents (biological, adoptive, or surrogate)

© 2025 The Dreamer’s Pause. All rights reserved.

Passion Is Overrated: Why Your Dream Job Might Ruin the Economy

Are We All Just Wasting Degrees? Gen Z, African Parents, and the Career Crisis No One Wants to Talk About

Lilo has something heavy (and hilarious) to get off her chest. Let’s talk careers, passions, and the generational mess we’ve found ourselves in. Because honestly, it’s not just South Africa — this thing is global. From Lagos to Joburg to New York, young people are picking careers that either don’t make sense, don’t pay, or are already so overpopulated that they’ve basically turned into waiting rooms instead of opportunities.

Let’s start with us — Gen Z. Compared to Millennials (who I must admit are a little sharper than us), we’re fumbling. And don’t get me started on the generation after us… they’re not doing much better. We live in a world where certain jobs are urgently needed, yet most of us are flooding into faculties that don’t have space for us anymore. For example: Law. Everybody wants to be a lawyer. Nigerians especially love the barrister outfits — scroll through graduation photos and it’s robes everywhere. But isn’t this career already overflowing? And let’s be honest: a lot of those students aren’t choosing law out of passion, but because their parents shoved them into it.

And that’s the African mentality still alive today: if you want respect and money, you must be a doctor, an engineer, or a lawyer. Period. As if being a farmer, welder, or plumber is useless. Yet those so-called “dirty jobs” are the backbone of the economy. Personally, I salute men who do them, because let’s be real — 80% of women (myself included) wouldn’t go near that kind of work. Meanwhile, toxic feminists scream equality while ignoring that someone has to climb into the sewers and fix the pipes. Fantasy, fantasy.

But here’s where I check myself. I underestimated doctors. I thought, “Everyone is becoming a doctor, so what’s the point?” But the truth is, South Africa (and the world) is desperate for more healthcare workers. Still, don’t expect me to join that battlefield. The sight of blood? I would faint on the patient before the surgery even started. And engineers? Same story. Critical, but overcrowded with students whose parents forced them

 there.

And yet, the real problem is this: the jobs that are most urgently needed — healthcare, engineering, ICT, skilled trades, maintenance — are the very ones so many of us don’t enjoy. How do you survive three or four years in university studying something you hate, just because the economy needs it? It’s not easy. But if we don’t do it, then what? Countries end up hiring outsiders, importing skills, or handing everything to AI. And that comes at a huge cost.

This is where the debate gets juicy: should we follow what we love, knowing it may not pay or help the economy much? Or should we sacrifice passion for the careers that are scarce, lucrative, and desperately needed — even if we don’t enjoy them? Or is there some middle ground, like doing your passion but keeping a scarce-skill job as a side hustle?

So I throw it to you, readers of TheDreamersPause: what’s the solution? Do we chase love, money, or the economy? Let’s debate — because this crisis isn’t just mine, it’s all of ours.

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© 2025 The Dreamer’s Pause. All rights reserved.