Limerence: When a Crush Becomes a Haunting

Limerence: When a Crush Becomes a Haunting

Have you ever found yourself trapped in an endless loop of longing for someone who doesn’t even know you exist? Someone far away, untouchable, already in a relationship — yet somehow, they’ve taken up all this space in your head. Maybe it started as a harmless crush, something simple and fleeting. But then you find out they’re taken, and suddenly, their face is everywhere. Social media keeps throwing their photos in your face, reminding you of a life they’re living without you. And every time you see it, your heart does this weird, painful thump. Just one beat, like it’s trying to get your attention, like it’s mocking you.

And the more you try to avoid it, the worse it gets. Their name, their face, their life — it’s like they’re haunting you, popping up ten times more than before. You hate it. You hate that you can’t escape it. And you hate that you even care so much about someone who has no clue you exist.

But what makes it worse is that you’re letting it take up space in your head. You have other problems, real problems that actually matter. But instead, you’re stuck here, obsessing over someone you’ll never have, feeling stupid, feeling worthless. You keep telling yourself it’s going to go away. It will pass. It always does. But right now, it hurts like hell.

Why does this happen? Why does limerence feel like a haunting? It’s not just about the person; it’s about what they represent — the things you feel you’re missing in your own life. Maybe it’s the idea of being seen, being loved, being chosen. Maybe it’s the fantasy of being close to someone who seems so perfect, so out of reach. But it’s all a mirage, a fantasy that can never be real.

Sometimes, it feels like a joke. How could something as silly as a crush make you feel so miserable? How could someone who doesn’t even know you exist make you feel like bawling your eyes out? You feel the pain, but you keep it in because crying won’t change a thing.

So, how do you cope? Maybe you try to distract yourself, avoid social media, avoid reminders. Maybe you remind yourself that you’re worth more than this, that your life is about more than someone who never earned a place in it. Maybe you start taking back some of that space in your mind — space they never deserved in the first place.