Let’s talk about that one controversial question that pops up every now and then — usually on the internet when people are too comfy behind their screens, sipping juice and dropping wild takes.
“If you were in a life-or-death situation, would you save your partner or your child?”
Now, before I get attacked — let me breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Okay.
I remember the first time I heard this question. My automatic response was: “Obviously, the child! What kind of question is that?” I mean, duh, right? Kids are innocent, small, and they still need us. Plus, as a woman, society almost conditions us to put our children first all the time. It’s like they come out of your body and BOOM — all your priorities shift.
But then… I grew up a little. Started thinking deeper. Started reading more. Observing. Researching. Living. And honestly? My answer began to shift.
Now, hear me out before you close the tab and report my blog.
I came to a realization — one that might sting a bit if you're not ready for it:
Your kids grow up and leave. Your partner? Stays.
(Okay, not all of them. But you get what I mean.)
Children are a blessing, absolutely. But they don’t stay kids forever. One day they’ll pack their bags, move out, get married, and start their own lives. And you? You’ll be at home with your partner — the same person you once shared toothbrush drawers with, binge-watched series with, and possibly argued over how to load the dishwasher.
Now, from a Christian perspective (yes, I’m going there), there’s a scripture that says, “A man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” That hit me like a holy frying pan. Like wait...one flesh? Not "one flesh until you have kids and then you're suddenly half-flesh"?
When God talks about becoming one with your spouse, He’s talking about a divine connection. A soul bond. And yet, so many of us — especially women — are quick to put that bond on the back burner the moment motherhood enters the chat. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not shaming anyone. But can we at least admit this deserves some real thought?
Now, let me sprinkle in a bit of reality. Life isn't always black and white. Emotions are powerful. Motherly instincts are fierce. If I were actually in a dangerous situation, I can't even promise I'd be calm enough to think, let alone choose between two people I love with my whole heart.
But I do believe in thinking long-term. In understanding why I’m choosing what I choose. And in valuing the relationship that laid the foundation for the child in the first place.
And for the people screaming, “You can always have another husband!” — that’s cute. But also, no. We don’t just pick soulmates off the shelf at Pick n Pay. If the love is real, that bond is sacred. Same for the people who say, “But kids are your legacy!” — your marriage is a legacy too, sis.
So yeah… if you ask me that question now, I’d say: “God forbid I ever have to choose. But if I do… my husband might just be the one I reach for first.”
And I hope he would do the same for me.
Debate me if you want. I’m all ears.
Who would you save first? No judgment — just good conversation.
And please, let’s keep it respectful. No throwing virtual stones.
Until next time, think deeper. Love wiser.
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