When you’re 18, the world feels like it’s waiting for you to step into it. Everyone expects you to have it all figured out—where you’re going, what you’re doing, and who you’re supposed to be. But here I am, staring at the ceiling in my small room, feeling anything but ready.
I’m the girl who has never had a job. Not because I don’t want one, but because no one seems to want me. I have no best friend to share secrets with, no boyfriend to call mine, and not even pocket money to spend on the little things that make life bearable. I’ve been accepted into a private college, but instead of feeling excited, I feel a pit in my stomach because I don’t know how I’ll pay for it.
My teeth are crooked. A kid at church once laughed and said, “Why does your smile look broken?” I smiled less after that. It’s funny how one small comment can echo in your mind, louder than a hundred kind words. I hate the way I look most days, but I don’t know how to change that.
And now, I’m waiting. Waiting for my final high school results to drop, feeling like my entire future is dangling on a thread held by numbers I can’t control. Will they be good enough? Will I be good enough?
I started this blog because I need a space to breathe, to write, to be myself without the fear of judgment. I don’t know where this journey will lead me, but I know I can’t stay still any longer. I’m tired of waiting for life to happen to me.
Maybe you’ll relate to my story. Maybe you won’t. Either way, I hope you stick around, because this blog isn’t just about my struggles—it’s about figuring out how to move forward, one dream, one pause, one step at a time.
Welcome to The Dreamer’s Pause. Let’s figure this out together.
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