Why Did You Wait So Long to Have Kids? Now Look at Me!

Why Did You Wait So Long to Have Kids? Now Look at Me!

Okay, so let’s talk about it. Parents having kids late. And by late, I mean late-late—like thirties, late thirties, forties, even fifties. Like, bro… what were you waiting for? What was the hold-up? A sign from heaven? A global event? Because I need answers.

Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying older parents are bad or anything, but I am saying they don’t always realize how their timing affects not just them but us, their children. And I’m speaking from experience because, well, my dad had me at 40, and my mom was 24. Not a crazy gap, I know, but the real issue? My parents are currently at an age where their peers are chilling, enjoying life, with grown kids in university or even done with school, some already married with their own families. Meanwhile, my parents? They still have young kids to raise—because after me, my brother came six years later, and then my sister five years after that. And guess who’s stuck in the middle of it all? Me.

The Unpaid, Unappreciated Second Parent

Look, I’m 19. Fresh out of high school. Job-hunting. Figuring life out. Trying to breathe. But instead, I feel like I’ve been recruited—not as a daughter, but as some unpaid second-in-command. I don’t cook much, sure, but I do everything else. I clean. I check on them. I break up fights. I fold their clothes. I remind them to shower and brush their teeth. I help with homework. I make sure they eat. And if I ever dare say “no” or refuse to do something? Ha! Suddenly, I’m the villain. My siblings snitch on me, and now I’m selfish, rude, and a dictator. Excuse me? How am I selfish for just wanting a break?

And don’t even get me started on how my parents see it. If I ever try to explain how I feel—how overwhelming it is to carry all this responsibility at 19—they won’t understand. Instead, they’ll take it as me being ungrateful. Because, at the end of the day, this house, this money, this everything—it’s for us, right? So, in their eyes, my complaints aren’t valid. But man, it’s a lot.

The Silent Struggle

I just want to breathe. I want a job, not just for the money, but for escape. For freedom. So I don’t have to constantly be in the middle of this cycle of responsibility and guilt. So I can have a life outside of playing referee, babysitter, and homework helper. Because right now, it’s unfair.

And I know what some people might say—"But they’re your siblings, you should help out." And yeah, I get that. But there’s a difference between helping out and basically becoming the default second parent just because I’m the oldest and happen to be home. Like, why am I the one carrying all this weight?

And it all circles back to my original point—why didn’t y’all just have kids earlier? If they had, we’d all be grown now helping each other by doing some chores in the house 😡. My parents would be resting, not still raising little ones while approaching retirement. But hey, what can I do? Nothing. I just have to sit in silence, wait for my turn to leave, and hope I don’t fall into the same cycle when I have kids one day.

Final Thoughts

If you’re reading this and you’re thinking about having kids way later in life, just think about what it means—not just for you, but for your future kids. Because someone, somewhere, might end up writing a blog post like this, wondering why you waited so long and why they had to carry so much responsibility when they didn’t ask for it.

Until then, I’ll just keep praying for my exit plan.

Disclaimer:

I do not own any of this pictures 🖼️ 

If I Had Six Kids🤱🏿🧑🏿‍🍼

If I Had Six Kids, This Is How I Would Raise Them

I’ve always imagined myself with six kids. Yeah, six. Some people hear that and act like I just said I want to run a marathon in heels, but to me, it sounds like a beautiful, chaotic, love-filled home. And, of course, I’ve already named them in my head—Abigail, Zion, Zaire, Rejoice, Nathaniel, and Genesis. (My future husband can add all the extra middle names if he wants, but these first names? They’re set in stone.😁)

Now, if I’m going to have six kids, I need a system—because there’s no way I’m raising them to be those kids who only know how to warm up noodles and leave their clothes all over the floor like it's an art piece. Nope. My kids will be clean, independent, and, most importantly, love each other like siblings should.

1. Cooking Is Not Optional.

I don’t care if you're a boy or a girl—every single one of them will learn how to cook. I’m talking about real food, not just eggs and instant noodles. In African households, boys often get a free pass when it comes to housework. I’ve seen it—sons lounging on the couch while daughters are in the kitchen, expected to cook, clean, and serve. Not in my house! Zion, Zaire and Nathaniel will know how to handle a pot just as well as Abigail, Rejoice and Genesis 💯

It’s not even about becoming a chef (though if one of them decides to, I’d fully support it). It’s about survival. If you can’t feed yourself, you’re already at a disadvantage in life. And don’t even get me started on cleanliness—being a man is not an excuse to be untidy. My boys will be just as neat as my girls because hygiene and order are basic human standards, not gender roles.

2. Everyone Needs a Hobby (or Two… or Three).

I refuse to raise kids who sit around wasting time, scrolling endlessly on their phones, and waiting for life to hand them something. Each of them will have at least two things they’re passionate about—a sport and a skill. The third one is optional, but encouraged.

A sport – Because I want them to be active, healthy, and learn discipline. They don’t need to be Olympic athletes, but they should know how to push themselves and work in a team.

A skill – It could be anything: sewing, photography, carpentry, coding—just something useful that can become a side hustle if life ever gets rough.

I never want my kids to feel stuck or helpless. If the job market fails them (God forbid),🙏🏿 they should have something to fall back on. They should be able to make money with their own hands, not just depend on a salary.

3. Family First—For Real.

One thing I’ve noticed in many African families is that siblings often grow up in the same house but feel like strangers as adults. I don’t want that for my kids. They will have each other’s backs no matter what. No unnecessary competition, no jealousy, no “I haven’t spoken to my brother in five years” nonsense.

I will create traditions that make them bond—Sunday game nights, road trips, storytelling sessions about our ancestors, even sibling “team challenges” where they work together to win a prize. I want them to grow up knowing that family is not just about sharing DNA; it’s about showing up for each other.

4. Mental and Emotional Strength Matter.

I’ve struggled with my own emotions, and if there’s one thing I don’t want for my kids, it’s for them to grow up hating themselves or feeling like they have to shrink to be accepted. I’ll teach them to love themselves first—before waiting for someone else’s validation.

They will know that their worth is not tied to grades, looks, or social status.

They will understand that it’s okay to have bad days, but they must learn how to push through.

They will know how to defend themselves—physically and emotionally—because I refuse to raise kids who let people walk all over them.💯

And while I’ll be their mother first, I also want to be someone they trust. African parents have this thing where they think providing food and shelter is enough. Love is shown through actions, not just responsibilities. I will talk to my kids, listen to them, and make sure they feel safe sharing their thoughts with me.

5. What Kind of People Will They Be?

Honestly, I can’t predict their personalities. Maybe Abigail will be the responsible eldest child, or maybe she’ll be the artistic dreamer. Maybe Zaire will be the mischievous one( God forbid), always finding ways to escape chores. I don’t know. But what I do know is that I want all of them to be:

✔ Cheerful (because I refuse to raise grumpy kids like me, LOL)

✔ Intelligent (not just book-smart, but full of logic and brilliant ideas)

✔ Kind and thoughtful (while knowing how to set boundaries)

✔ God-fearing (because faith is important, and they should always have a moral compass)

✔ Close as a family (because at the end of the day, they will always have each other)

Final Thoughts: The Vision Is Clear

I know I’m only 19, and I don’t have kids yet, but I think about these things a lot. I know reality is different from imagination—maybe I’ll get that one child who rebels against everything, or maybe one of them will refuse to learn how to cook (we’ll fight, respectfully). But at the core of it all, I just want my kids to grow up in a loving, structured, and purposeful environment.

I want them to be happy, strong, well mannered, godly and successful—not just in the way society defines success, but in the way that makes their souls fulfilled. And that? That’s what being a mother means to me.

Would I survive raising six kids? That’s another story. But one thing’s for sure: It will be an adventure worth every moment.😉

Disclaimer:

I do not own any of this pictures.