The Rollercoaster of Crushing: When Fantasy Meets Reality

The Rollercoaster of Crushing: When Fantasy Meets Reality

Crushes. Oh, how they bring a mix of excitement and pain. All my life, I've had crushes. From the time I was in primary school to now, they’ve always been there. But there’s one thing that’s remained constant: I’ve never dated. And trust me, the journey with crushes has been nothing short of a rollercoaster.

Growing up as a girl, I never felt bold enough to tell someone I liked them. Why would I? I wasn’t the "attractive, good-looking" one, so the fear of being laughed at kept me silent. It felt safer to just admire from afar and keep my feelings hidden. Some people knew, others didn’t, and as expected, some people mocked or gossiped about it. It was tough. The real sting, though, comes when you see the person you like, someone you’ve admired in silence, dating someone else. The pain, the heartache, the feeling of not being enough—it’s all too much sometimes.

Recently, I had a big crush. This wasn’t just any crush; it was the kind that consumes you. It’s the kind where you tell yourself, “If we don’t end up together, we’ll at least be best friends or business partners.” I kept telling myself that, thinking if I spoke it into existence, maybe some part of it would come true. The power of words, right?

But reality hit a few hours ago. I saw a message that shattered my little dream bubble: the guy I liked had fallen for someone else. And here's the kicker: we’re miles apart, literally. He lives in another country, in a completely different place, with people who are stunningly beautiful. And here I am, just me, with my dreams of what could’ve been. It’s easy to feel like I don’t stand a chance, but at the same time, it’s hard to be upset. We’ve never met. It’s all just an imagined connection.

Now, I’m left with this feeling of frustration. Crushes are a funny thing. I always end up daydreaming about everything that could be. From how we’d meet, to getting engaged, to having kids and building a legacy together. It’s all so real in my head, but it’s just a fantasy. And when I step back, I realize: it’s a dream I built on something that’s not even real. It’s a fantasy where the person doesn’t even know I exist. And that hurts.

But you know what? This whole situation has taught me something. Crushes, especially the unrealistic ones, can be painful. But they’re also a part of growing up, of learning what it means to have feelings for someone and not always have them reciprocated. The truth is, it’s not about finding someone who perfectly fits into your dream. It’s about accepting that sometimes, it’s okay to have those dreams and still let them go when reality doesn’t line up.

And so, here I am. Trying to make peace with it all. Crushes are tough. They make you feel like you're living in a fairytale, only to wake up and realize that sometimes, reality doesn’t match the dream. But that's okay. It’s all part of the journey. And I know, in time, I’ll look back and laugh at how seriously I took all of this.

So, moral of the story? If you’re crushing on someone who doesn’t even know you exist, maybe it's time to focus on yourself. Life is so much bigger than a dream that may never come true. And who knows? Maybe one day, someone who actually sees you for who you are will come into your life, and it will be worth the wait.

In the meantime, let's try to laugh at ourselves. Because sometimes, all we really need is a little humor to get us through the emotional rollercoaster that is having a crush.

Until then, let’s keep crushing—on life, on our goals, and on the endless possibilities that await us!

Adulthood is a Scam!

Adulthood is a Scam: Where is the Refund?

There is a comment I saw on Facebook that had me nodding aggressively in agreement. A Nigerian lady said, "When I had to pay my bills for the first time, I wished I could enter my mama’s belle. Small pikin is the luckiest human being in this world. Just stay at home and watch Peppa Pig. Adulthood is a bloody nightmare. Happy Mother’s Day to me and all moms out there."

First of all, she did not lie. Not even a little bit. Right now, in Nigeria, they are celebrating Mother’s Day, but here in South Africa? Nope, we are waiting until May. However, this post hit me so hard that I had to sit down and reflect—on life, on bills, on why I was ever in a rush to grow up.

Let me tell you, children are the VIP members of society. They just cry, and boom—food appears. They throw a tantrum, and suddenly, they have new toys, snacks, and someone rocking them to sleep. Meanwhile, here I am, a full-grown human being, applying for jobs like it’s my full-time career, refreshing my emails every five minutes, hoping for an interview invitation. At this point, even a rejection email would be better than the silence.

See, I’m on a gap year. Not by choice, oh no. Life simply said, “You don’t have the money for school? Sit down.” And so, here I am, sitting. I had grand plans, but those plans required rands, and my bank account looked me in the eyes and said, “What plans? We don’t know them.”

And the worst part? The dependency.

Relying on my parents for everything is painful. It burns. I need money, but I have none. I want something, but I can’t buy it unless my parents decide to bless me. And let me tell you, their version of financial blessings is not the one from heaven above. It's the one where they hand you just enough to survive, not thrive.

The struggle is so real that my entire life is now money-themed. My WhatsApp wallpaper? A bundle of money. My lock screen? Money. My home screen? Also money. My music playlist? Nothing but songs about wealth. Money, Money, Money by ABBA? On repeat. She Works Hard for the Money? Absolutely. I Wanna Be Rich? Say no more.

At this point, I’m beyond desperate. I’m money-starved. Everything I want to do requires money, and the economy is looking at me like, "Good luck with that." But you know what? There’s still hope for the living, right? The power of the tongue, right?

Until then, I’ll be here, applying for jobs, surviving off my parents, and side-eyeing every baby that gets handed a bottle while I stress over adulthood.

Children, you don’t know how good you have it. Stay where you are. Don’t grow up. It’s a scam. 💯

Key words:

Belle: tummy

Pikin: kid, child, offspring