Male Bestie? Or Emotional Boyfriend Without the Title? Let’s Talk Before You Cry at Her Wedding Like Enioluwa

Male Bestie? Or Emotional Boyfriend Without the Title? Let’s Talk Before You Cry at Her Wedding Like Enioluwa

Let’s not lie to ourselves.

Let’s not deceive our future children.

Let’s talk about the ticking emotional time bomb that is the “male bestie” and “female bestie” friendship.

Because one thing about African Twitter, Facebook, and the streets of Instagram— if someone is crying at a wedding and it’s not the bride or the groom’s mom, everyone’s gonna talk. And that’s exactly what happened when Priscilla Ojo, 24, finally got married—and her best friend, Enioluwa Adeoluwa, 25, was spotted visibly emotional, wiping tears as she walked down the aisle.

You see that? That right there? That’s what we need to unpack.

But Wait—Who Are These People?

Let’s give the unaware ones some context before they embarrass themselves at the next brunch table convo.

Priscilla Ajoke Ojo:

Daughter of Nollywood legend Iyabo Ojo, Priscilla is more than just “some celeb’s kid.” She’s an influencer, entrepreneur, and digital fashion girlie with a massive online following. She’s been known for her slay, her silence, and her sweet-girl energy that keeps people guessing.

Enioluwa Adeoluwa:

Known as “the Lipgloss Boy,” Enioluwa is a media personality, digital content creator, skincare king, and style icon. He’s unapologetically expressive, artsy, and has used his platform to push confidence and boldness among Gen Z and beyond. He’s also openly gay.

So, on paper, no drama. No confusion. No risk, right?

WRONG.

So Why Did Enioluwa Cry?

Good question.

A better question: Why do so many male besties cry when their female besties get married?

Now, don’t get me wrong. We love emotions. Crying is healthy. But if you’re sobbing like your entire heart just got gentrified, people are going to wonder. And the internet did wonder. Some said it was “beautiful friendship,” others said, “That man was in love, whether he admits it or not.”

And here’s where it gets juicy.

Can Male and Female Besties Really Stay Just Friends Forever?

Let me say this loud and clear:

If a guy is your bestie and y’all are traveling together, wearing matching pajamas, buying each other luxury birthday gifts, posting heart emojis, calling each other ‘soulmate’—SOMETHING IS LOADING.

Sometimes it’s love.

Sometimes it’s a slow heartbreak.

Sometimes it’s just plain confusion.

And the emotional consequences? Oh, they’re real:

Unspoken feelings

Jealousy when one starts dating

That awkward tension that hits during “I do”

Friendship breakups that hurt worse than romantic ones

You’re out here thinking you’re just besties. Meanwhile, one of you is crying in the club—silently praying the wedding gets postponed. 

YIKES 😬 

Even If He’s Gay?

Yup. Let’s talk about it.

Emotional bonds does not ask for orientation first. You can be gay, straight, or a crazy complicated combination of both and still catch feelings—or feel some deep attachment that doesn’t make sense on paper. And sometimes it’s not about romantic love. Sometimes it’s grief. Grief that your “person” is no longer yours. The soft life, the vacays, the sleepovers, the “I got you no matter what” vibes? Over. Just like that.

So, What’s the Lesson Here?

Be honest.

With yourself. With your “bestie.” With the people watching and whispering.

Because this is how situationships are born. This is how you get heartbroken without dating. This is how you end up crying at her wedding in a matching suit you picked out yourself.

And me? I don’t want that.

I want to meet my real man like that. Let’s be best friends, yes—but best friends with direction. With purpose. With clarity. I’m not here to rehearse for someone else’s husband. 

YOU READ THAT RIGHT!

Final Words?

If your “bestie” texts you more than your man, wipes your tears, buys you gifts, knows your love language…

…that’s not just friendship. That’s a relationship teaser. And somebody’s heart is going to pay the price.

So ask yourself—are you best friends? Or are you just scared to admit what’s really going on?

Disclaimer:

All pictures are used for documented purposes only!

Dear Black Community: I’m Just a Teenager Watching… and Wondering

Dear Black Community: I’m Just a Teenager Watching… and Wondering

I’m just a teenager. I don’t have kids, I’ve never been to prison, I’m not on Instagram pretending I own a G-Wagon I saw parked outside the mall. I’m just a normal girl with eyes—and those eyes have been seeing some things.

Let’s talk. Why is it that whenever the topic of single parenthood comes up, everyone turns their heads like, “Here we go again,” and then BOOM—it’s always black single mothers at the center of the conversation? And don’t get me wrong, there are single moms in every race. But the numbers? The patterns? The stereotypes? It’s always black this, black that.

You ever notice the pattern?

Single moms? Black.

Prison population? Black.

Poverty rates? Black.

People who queue for the latest Gucci belt but sleep on a mattress on the floor? Black.

Blaming everyone else for our problems instead of fixing our own habits? Sadly, sometimes, also black.

Now before anyone comes for me, I’m not saying we’re all a mess. I’m saying we need to talk about the mess, because it’s spilling into our futures—and I want mine clean, please and thank you.

In Business Studies (shoutout to the subject that actually makes sense sometimes), we learned about levels of control:

Full control: You can make a choice and live by it.

Limited control: You can influence it but not completely stop it.

No control: Life just throws lemons, and you weren’t even trying to make lemonade.

And you know what? Most of us have full control. But instead of using it wisely, some of us throw it away for likes, validation, or vibes. Then when life hits, we say, “The system did this,” or “It’s because of colonialism,” or “It’s the man’s fault,” or “It’s the woman’s fault.”

Nah. Sometimes, it’s just us being reckless with what we could control.

Yes, the world is unfair. Yes, history has done a number on black people. But what about now? When you know better, shouldn't you do better?

I'm scared, to be honest. Scared I might one day become what I never wanted to be. But I pray I don’t. I plan. I think ahead. I want love, not drama. Stability, not struggle. Real joy, not filters and fake flexes.

So I’m not judging. I’m reflecting. Loudly. As a teenager who sees this cycle and says: “Can we not?”

That’s all for now.

Signed,

Lili Phedra