There is something deeply disturbing about the death of 15-year-old Javits Frimpong in New York. And no, I don't think this is just another tragic news story that we should discuss for three days, post a few crying emojis about and then move on from. There is a much bigger conversation here, which feel should be talked about more.
First, my heart genuinely goes out to his parents. Imagine moving your child across the world because you believe you are giving him a better future, only for that same child to never make it back home from school. What exactly are parents supposed to do with that kind of pain?
And before someone comes here with the usual motivational speech about how children must learn to fight for themselves, please, let's talk.
The allegations of bullying surrounding Javits's death have brought back memories of my own childhood. I know what it feels like to be bullied. I remember being beaten up in primary school, coming home crying and looking for comfort. Instead, I was beaten so badly by my mom, and I was told to go back and fight the boy. Mind you, this was someone physically stronger than me, practically a professional bully at that age. Apparently, the solution was to send me back for another episode of WWE.
But here's what some parents don't understand: not every child can fight. Not every child wants to fight. And sometimes, what a child needs is not another lecture about being strong but an adult who will actually intervene.
I have a particular concern about the way some African parents approach parenting. Providing food, paying school fees, buying clothes and putting a roof over a child's head are important. Absolutely. But parenting cannot end at the supermarket checkout. Some children are struggling right under their parent's noses. They become withdrawn, spend hours in their bedrooms, stop communicating, avoid family interactions and lose the enthusiasm they once had. Yet these changes are sometimes dismissed as teenage behaviour. A child needs to feel that they can tell their parents anything without every conversation turning into criticism, arguments or another compulsory life lesson. Sometimes children need their parents to be their friends, too. They need to know that somebody has their back.
And now, in Javits's case, his parents are left with questions that they may never get satisfactory answers to. Could something have been prevented? Was there more to the bullying? What happened before that shooting? We need answers. His father deserves answers.
But let's move beyond the immediate tragedy.
WHY ARE SO MANY AFRICANS SO DESPERATE TO LEAVE HOME?
This is where I want to bring the African governments into the conversation. For many Africans, the Western world has been sold as the ultimate destination. America, the UK, Canada and Europe. Almost like Disneyland, except the tickets are expensive, the paperwork is stressful and apparently the happily-ever-after package comes with additional terms and conditions. Growing up, you see parents dreaming about taking their children abroad. You hear conversations about opportunities, better schools, better salaries and a better standard of living. As you grow older, you begin to understand why. Look at the economic circumstances in many African countries. Look at unemployment, corruption, limited opportunities and the difficulties ordinary families face trying to build a decent life. Ghana is not the only country experiencing these problems.
Some people leave because they genuinely believe they have exhausted their opportunities at home. Others leave because they want their children to experience possibilities they never had. And sometimes, migration is not even the final destination. People move to countries such as South Africa, hoping to establish themselves before eventually making their way to Europe or America. Some succeed. Others spend years trying, sacrificing and working towards that one opportunity.
I firmly believe African governments have a responsibility to answer for the circumstances that make so many citizens feel that their future lies somewhere else. I cannot help wondering whether Javits's family would have been in this position if the circumstances at home had allowed them to build the life they wanted without leaving. Of course, nobody can promise that a child will be safe everywhere. Violence exists everywhere. But we cannot ignore the bigger picture.
And then comes another uncomfortable conversation: THE TREATMENT OF AFRICAN MIGRANTS ABROAD.
Since Javits's death, people have been sharing experiences of anti-African racism, particularly accounts involving Black Americans. Some have described feeling pressured to hide their African identities, with some allegedly claiming Jamaican backgrounds because of how they feared they would be treated if they identified their actual countries of origin. Apparently, being African can sometimes come with an unwanted social classification. And according to these accounts, some people have experienced bullying, mockery and discrimination because of their accents, facial features, nationalities or cultural backgrounds. Let me be clear: I am not saying every Black American behaves this way. That would be ridiculous. But I am also not going to pretend these experiences do not exist simply because discussing them might offend somebody.
And while we're here, can we please retire the argument that Black people cannot be racist towards other Black people? What exactly are we trying to achieve with that argument? People can hold racial prejudices, discriminate and mistreat others based on their racial or ethnic backgrounds. Being part of a marginalised group does not automatically make someone incapable of prejudice. If you have experienced it, please speak about it. If you disagree, bring your argument. But let's stop pretending that uncomfortable experiences disappear when we refuse to acknowledge them.
Then there are the questions surrounding the shooting itself. Who were the people involved? What was the motive? How did minors allegedly get access to a firearm? Was there a connection to the reported bullying? There are videos and claims circulating online, including allegations about a possible arrest, but these details need to be established by investigators. We cannot replace an investigation with social media speculation.
I want justice for Javits. Not rumours, not internet detectives declaring people guilty, but proper answers and accountability. And to those telling grieving African parents that they should have stayed in their own country: what exactly is wrong with you? Is this really the moment to remind a father that he is a foreigner? A man is mourning his child. Have some humanity.
A CHILD SHOULD NOT HAVE TO DIE BEFORE THE WORLD BECOMES INTERESTED IN HIS STORY.
I hate that Javits is becoming known to so many people because of the way he died rather than the life he could have lived. His laughter, his childhood, his personality, his dreams. There was supposed to be so much more.
And perhaps the uncomfortable part of this entire conversation is that there are parents watching this story who will recognise their own children's silence. There are former bullying victims remembering what happened to them. There are African migrants questioning whether the sacrifices their families made were worth it. And there are people who have experienced discrimination from communities they thought would understand them. This is bigger than one shooting. Bigger than one school. Bigger than one country.
Javits deserved to grow up. His parents deserved to see him graduate, discover his talents, make mistakes, fall in love with life and become whoever he was meant to be. Not this.
May his parents find the strength to endure what no parent should ever have to endure. And to everyone who has experienced bullying, discrimination or the loneliness of being an African child trying to find their place in a foreign country, I hope we can finally have these conversations without being told to shut up, toughen up or go back home. Because if a child cannot feel safe at school, cannot speak freely at home and cannot even find acceptance in the place his family sacrificed everything to reach, then we need to ask ourselves:
WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE CALLING A BETTER LIFE?
© 2026 The Dreamer’s Pause. All rights reserved.
No comments:
Post a Comment